It was the last year in school. My grade 10. And I remember my class teacher telling me once how different life after school was going to be like... How different it will be when you have to face the outside world, all by yourself... When you will be on your own, with no one to hold you... Then, it just seemed like something that won't happen with me. That was the same thought with every of my classmates' mind too, I am sure. And even everyone who has been in that situation, that time in their lives...
It's difficult to think 'how' life would be different when you are in the complete cove of school life. Protected, nurtured, chiselled to your be who you are. But, two years after getting out of school, here I am. Standing at another crossroads, wondering where I'll be in 3 months from now. Which city of India, which college, what institution, what degree? Yes. It has been a tough transit.
It's a different thing for everyone. For some, it's crazy to imagine that they're not in school anymore and college is not as serious as school. Or at times, is even more serious. For some, it's difficult to bear the distance from friends and to get out of contact from them just because they don't study the same subjects and the lives they've chosen for themselves are different... For some, getting in tune with the fact that they face not just themselves and their fellow classmates, but, the whole city, state or nation, in the next important exam, is scary... For some, it's not being a part of the 'happening' and 'popular' group, brings them down... Pretty much sums up on the dilemma of everyone. And believe it or not, everyone has experienced it. There's no way you can get through to living a life without being in a state of transition, sometime in life...
Some go through it easily... Placidly... Like a river flowing down the plains... For others, it's the rocky terrain that they're forced to fight...
I have seen it all happening right in front of my eyes. I have seen friends being insecure about their friendship, high-scoring students under-estimating their abilities because of their fears, pain of separated relationships, those ready to lose themselves to become wannabes without realizing it and what not! And I can tell you, that while most of us can't get through these easily, it takes courage to go up to someone you trust and ask them to help you through it. More of an emotional challenge, than anything else.
And that's when I realize, it's no easy job to bring someone back, to accept someone has changed, to accept the fears and to face them...
But, again, that's a part of the story. A few years down the line, there's gonna be transition again. When we graduate from our colleges with a Bachelors or Masters degree and step into the competitive world of jobs and opportunities. And there'll be change again... Our mates from school and college will be lost again and we'd rather spend time with colleagues and business associates.
How difficult will that be? Easier for the one who can acknowledge the change now. Even harder for the one who cannot.
And finally, most of the times, it comes down to keeping in tune our ego, choosing to disbelieve that we have changed, that we are still the same, even when deep inside we do know that we aren't...
Why is it so difficult to accept the change within ourselves? Why is it so tough to accept that we have changed? May be that's because we have been of the opinion that no matter what we won't change... May be because we thought we won't give up our values... Our opinions won't be influenced... Our habits, will pertain...
Similarly, why is it so difficult to accept that some of our friends have gone far away from us? May be our paths were meant to be separated... May be our paths crossed once and then they were gonna be all separated, again... May be their priorities now on, didn't match ours...
Why is it so difficult to accept that we're not the star-kid of our school anymore and that we're just another normal college-goer? May be because the attention it brought is not so easy to forgo...
Why is it so tough not to be a part of the 'it' crowd? May be because you want to be talked about... You want to be seen, talked about, and felt jealous of...
The time to realization, comes by just then for some. Either you live it from then. Or sit back, cry foul and sit in there repenting and troubling your own self, believing things will never go back to how they were again...
Yes, they surely won't ever. That's what life is all about. That's the rule of time. You can't be in the same moment twice. The moment once gone, is gone forever. After that, it's just memories. After that, it's just being happy about it happening. After that, it's just about the lessons learnt... And also, the lust for having the same moments again, which won't ever be realized...
Pretty much the same, for everyone. And I can't imagine what it'll be like when life takes me to the next crossroads, the job and post-education, making-my-own-living life... I don't know what situations will face me and my fellowmates. I don't know how we'll come to terms with them, then... I can be so sure about these situations I talked about, given that I have seen, faced and helped many get over... And I'm sure, when it comes by again, everyone will be through the same phase, in a different way, all over again...
Till then, all I can say is, the transition is tough. Accepting the change is tough. And being fine with it is even more. But, in the end I can conclude pretty easily...
It boils down to a simple point. Change, the process of transition, like none other, is an ever-going process... No one of us is the same person that we were a day ago. Either we have learnt something, cultivated a good habit, or let go of a bad one, or forgone our values and felt miserable. In either of all the ways, we are not the same person. We are someone else.
Change is permanent. Sure it is. But, no ascertained changed is permanent. Only the process of change is permanent. Nothing else, ever is.
Adios!
It's difficult to think 'how' life would be different when you are in the complete cove of school life. Protected, nurtured, chiselled to your be who you are. But, two years after getting out of school, here I am. Standing at another crossroads, wondering where I'll be in 3 months from now. Which city of India, which college, what institution, what degree? Yes. It has been a tough transit.
It's a different thing for everyone. For some, it's crazy to imagine that they're not in school anymore and college is not as serious as school. Or at times, is even more serious. For some, it's difficult to bear the distance from friends and to get out of contact from them just because they don't study the same subjects and the lives they've chosen for themselves are different... For some, getting in tune with the fact that they face not just themselves and their fellow classmates, but, the whole city, state or nation, in the next important exam, is scary... For some, it's not being a part of the 'happening' and 'popular' group, brings them down... Pretty much sums up on the dilemma of everyone. And believe it or not, everyone has experienced it. There's no way you can get through to living a life without being in a state of transition, sometime in life...
Some go through it easily... Placidly... Like a river flowing down the plains... For others, it's the rocky terrain that they're forced to fight...
I have seen it all happening right in front of my eyes. I have seen friends being insecure about their friendship, high-scoring students under-estimating their abilities because of their fears, pain of separated relationships, those ready to lose themselves to become wannabes without realizing it and what not! And I can tell you, that while most of us can't get through these easily, it takes courage to go up to someone you trust and ask them to help you through it. More of an emotional challenge, than anything else.
And that's when I realize, it's no easy job to bring someone back, to accept someone has changed, to accept the fears and to face them...
But, again, that's a part of the story. A few years down the line, there's gonna be transition again. When we graduate from our colleges with a Bachelors or Masters degree and step into the competitive world of jobs and opportunities. And there'll be change again... Our mates from school and college will be lost again and we'd rather spend time with colleagues and business associates.
How difficult will that be? Easier for the one who can acknowledge the change now. Even harder for the one who cannot.
And finally, most of the times, it comes down to keeping in tune our ego, choosing to disbelieve that we have changed, that we are still the same, even when deep inside we do know that we aren't...
Why is it so difficult to accept the change within ourselves? Why is it so tough to accept that we have changed? May be that's because we have been of the opinion that no matter what we won't change... May be because we thought we won't give up our values... Our opinions won't be influenced... Our habits, will pertain...
Similarly, why is it so difficult to accept that some of our friends have gone far away from us? May be our paths were meant to be separated... May be our paths crossed once and then they were gonna be all separated, again... May be their priorities now on, didn't match ours...
Why is it so difficult to accept that we're not the star-kid of our school anymore and that we're just another normal college-goer? May be because the attention it brought is not so easy to forgo...
Why is it so tough not to be a part of the 'it' crowd? May be because you want to be talked about... You want to be seen, talked about, and felt jealous of...
The time to realization, comes by just then for some. Either you live it from then. Or sit back, cry foul and sit in there repenting and troubling your own self, believing things will never go back to how they were again...
Yes, they surely won't ever. That's what life is all about. That's the rule of time. You can't be in the same moment twice. The moment once gone, is gone forever. After that, it's just memories. After that, it's just being happy about it happening. After that, it's just about the lessons learnt... And also, the lust for having the same moments again, which won't ever be realized...
Pretty much the same, for everyone. And I can't imagine what it'll be like when life takes me to the next crossroads, the job and post-education, making-my-own-living life... I don't know what situations will face me and my fellowmates. I don't know how we'll come to terms with them, then... I can be so sure about these situations I talked about, given that I have seen, faced and helped many get over... And I'm sure, when it comes by again, everyone will be through the same phase, in a different way, all over again...
Till then, all I can say is, the transition is tough. Accepting the change is tough. And being fine with it is even more. But, in the end I can conclude pretty easily...
It boils down to a simple point. Change, the process of transition, like none other, is an ever-going process... No one of us is the same person that we were a day ago. Either we have learnt something, cultivated a good habit, or let go of a bad one, or forgone our values and felt miserable. In either of all the ways, we are not the same person. We are someone else.
Change is permanent. Sure it is. But, no ascertained changed is permanent. Only the process of change is permanent. Nothing else, ever is.
Adios!
You said it all. Amen.
ReplyDeleteSetu, as your friend Poulomi rightly said, the blog makes us sad. You have written rightly 'Change is inevitable', not in our hand, each one of us changes whether we wish for or against but yes, what is in our hand is whether to change with positive thoughts and feelings or negative thoughts and feelings... Choice is ours and that will decide our tomorrow...
ReplyDeleteLet me also add you have rightly expressed anxiety which we pass through at every cross roads of life, and when we cross it successfully with happiness and satisfaction, it increases our confidence to cross any crossroads of life...
nce thought..frndzc hange wth tym..n evn evrythng change with tym...bt 1 thng remain is d true love n d true n honest frndzz
ReplyDeletetrue.......but still......there will be no changes in our friendship...
ReplyDeleteand again nice blog....
May 22, 2011 at 3:31 pm on Facebook
This post made me sad. LIke really sad.
ReplyDelete'cos all of it is true. You know?
xx
May 22, 2011 12:54 PM on Blogspot
This broke my heart. A little.
May 22, 2011 at 1:32 pm on Facebook
awesome blogs !!
ReplyDeleteMay 22, 2011 at 4:30 pm on Facebook
nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMay 23, 2011 at 12:50 pm on Facebook