Oh well, well. When you probably begin reading this, you would be of the idea, 'What the hell does he think he is writing on? That too on the world wide web?' Brave!
Let me tell you, the first thing, I don't know (I know that's usual that I don't know why I write what I write, even regular readers of my blog may know that) why. It was just something I was thinking about the other night, and I realized, it would be better to just write it down, put it up on the blog, and have everyone to decide what their stand is... So, here it goes...
Generation gap. One of the most disputed, and legit topics. Who doesn't know about it or hasn't seen it? Everyone of us can surely point out the difference... Can see why somethings are done differently... So that's that. But, I always, always (not a typo) fail to understand the reason why people would have difference of opinions just because of the difference in the age group...
I am just going to point out a few reasons that I thought were for this much talked about Generation Gap...
Generations pass, ways of thinking, perceiving, believing change. They indeed do. And as I had written somewhere earlier, it is the state of transition, change, that is the only thing that's permanent... Whatever may be wrong as of today, may not even be close to wrong in the next generation! For example, being out of home, beyond 9 would probably be considered a big deal in the previous generations. But, where we live today, teenagers, like me, would stay out of home, till 12 in the midnight, and still, it wouldn't be a problem as such. Similarly, many more things can be pointed out.
But, what about those where both the generations (namely, parent and child) don't match about their opinions? Whom can it be blamed upon? The fast progress of the child because of what he sees, happens around him? Or the inability of the parents to accept the change in their children? Or something else? What?!?!
I guess none... It is just inter-twined with all of this together and comprising into a result... It may be that over time, they can sort out whatever it is that separates them, but expecting it to be calm within no time, as it pops out for either of them, it's just not being real. It's just imposing our choices on the others. And I guess that probably isn't a sign of a healthy relationship...
Today, stuff like friends, mobile phones, texting, social networking, e-mailing, etc. is in news. Every second teen wants to have more friends on social websites than most of his counterparts, whereas every parent is concerned about online security, reading about cyber-crime every day and getting more worried about their children... Whose fault is it? We would say parents', and if you're a parent, you would probably say ours. Agreed! Blame it on generation gap, best way out *winks*.
But, frankly. It's that kind of a world. To have a big, always expanding friend group, is what that child wants to brag about, he/she wants to be seen, talked about, just like any other sophomore. He doesn't want to go to school and say to his friends that he isn't on a social network just because his parents don't want him too... Either he would be ashamed, or just feel bondaged. Either ways, he won't feel good about it.
(Implications from here on, you = parents, other adults. We, us = your children!)
That's one thing that parents probably need to know... Their child is responsible, that they have grown them up, with the values you imbibed in them, they can take care of themselves and you need to trust them. We read what you read, we see what you see, and in many cases, we have more insight into the real world than you do. We can and do take care of ourselves.
From what I have noticed, the other major reason that is, is comparison. You don't compare what happens today to me, to what used to happen to you 2-3 decades ago! This reminds me of dialogue delivered by Mr. Bhide in Taarak Mehta Ka Oolta Chashma in which he says, "Arre, hamare zamaane mein to hum (Oh, in our times, we used to)..." relating what he used to do as a kid and then, everyone in the frame in that scene, is just finding a way to escape from whatever he wishes to say. It's just that way for us too. Simply put, you can't talk about Graham Bell's first phone when every pocket around you has a mobile phone in it!
Again, you can't even compare a child to another. Every child is special, different (sorry, to just steal the tag-line from Taare Zameen Par)! In his/her own ways... And it's that difference you need to understand... There can't always be a fixed path that a child should follow just because you dreamt about him going that way. If some parents wouldn't have understood that, we wouldn't have had a Sachin Tendulkar, Bill Gates, etc. today! If their parents hadn't let them chase their dreams, they would be just another face in the crowd today, someone you would never even know exists...
The third, and most important point that I wish to make here. Studies isn't the only thing that's important. It may be that it's the only thing you you want from us, but it surely isn't the same for us. There are other things that are important too. And if you can figure out what that is, just understand them, believe in them, that's all you need to do! It's not like reminding us of our dreams 10 times day you can change anything that we do through the day... We may even change it for a day, out of frustration, but then what? We know our dreams, we know where we want to go, we know how, and we even know it's our life and that if someone has to make it, it's us... And that's what you need to know...
You can't talk to me every once in a fortnight, about one sensitive topic, and even say that you understand me... How do you want us to believe it if that's not what we see through your actions? How do we believe that you understand what we feel, go through if your actions suggest the contrary?
Well, here I want to make one thing clear before anyone begins speculating. I haven't had any arguments with either of my parents in the recent past (thankfully!), about anything. It's just that I was thinking about all this the other night, and it made me write this...
Many adults reading this must be up in arms with their replies for everything that I pointed out, ready to say about how biased I have been... And I wouldn't mind that. Probably, being a child, a teenager, it blinds me to look at it from the other perspective, because we're too firm on whatever we think and believe. Just too much. And there's nothing you can actually do about it.
Right now, it's probably the largest generation gap, between two consecutive generations, history has ever seen. Or may be, wider gaps will come by as next generations become real. May be it's the technological advance, openness to ideas, influence of school, friends, etc. that exists now on us, that induces this. But, that's real right? You can't go back in time, educate me then, make me learn the way you want me to live and then bring me back to the present and see me live that way. That's a serious LOL (lots of laugh). And I guess I have made my point here...
It's frightening to wonder about how changed the next generations will be, than measuring the current difference, for me... Well, it just is so...
Until I come up with something else to write about...
Let me tell you, the first thing, I don't know (I know that's usual that I don't know why I write what I write, even regular readers of my blog may know that) why. It was just something I was thinking about the other night, and I realized, it would be better to just write it down, put it up on the blog, and have everyone to decide what their stand is... So, here it goes...
Generation gap. One of the most disputed, and legit topics. Who doesn't know about it or hasn't seen it? Everyone of us can surely point out the difference... Can see why somethings are done differently... So that's that. But, I always, always (not a typo) fail to understand the reason why people would have difference of opinions just because of the difference in the age group...
I am just going to point out a few reasons that I thought were for this much talked about Generation Gap...
Generations pass, ways of thinking, perceiving, believing change. They indeed do. And as I had written somewhere earlier, it is the state of transition, change, that is the only thing that's permanent... Whatever may be wrong as of today, may not even be close to wrong in the next generation! For example, being out of home, beyond 9 would probably be considered a big deal in the previous generations. But, where we live today, teenagers, like me, would stay out of home, till 12 in the midnight, and still, it wouldn't be a problem as such. Similarly, many more things can be pointed out.
But, what about those where both the generations (namely, parent and child) don't match about their opinions? Whom can it be blamed upon? The fast progress of the child because of what he sees, happens around him? Or the inability of the parents to accept the change in their children? Or something else? What?!?!
I guess none... It is just inter-twined with all of this together and comprising into a result... It may be that over time, they can sort out whatever it is that separates them, but expecting it to be calm within no time, as it pops out for either of them, it's just not being real. It's just imposing our choices on the others. And I guess that probably isn't a sign of a healthy relationship...
Today, stuff like friends, mobile phones, texting, social networking, e-mailing, etc. is in news. Every second teen wants to have more friends on social websites than most of his counterparts, whereas every parent is concerned about online security, reading about cyber-crime every day and getting more worried about their children... Whose fault is it? We would say parents', and if you're a parent, you would probably say ours. Agreed! Blame it on generation gap, best way out *winks*.
But, frankly. It's that kind of a world. To have a big, always expanding friend group, is what that child wants to brag about, he/she wants to be seen, talked about, just like any other sophomore. He doesn't want to go to school and say to his friends that he isn't on a social network just because his parents don't want him too... Either he would be ashamed, or just feel bondaged. Either ways, he won't feel good about it.
(Implications from here on, you = parents, other adults. We, us = your children!)
That's one thing that parents probably need to know... Their child is responsible, that they have grown them up, with the values you imbibed in them, they can take care of themselves and you need to trust them. We read what you read, we see what you see, and in many cases, we have more insight into the real world than you do. We can and do take care of ourselves.
From what I have noticed, the other major reason that is, is comparison. You don't compare what happens today to me, to what used to happen to you 2-3 decades ago! This reminds me of dialogue delivered by Mr. Bhide in Taarak Mehta Ka Oolta Chashma in which he says, "Arre, hamare zamaane mein to hum (Oh, in our times, we used to)..." relating what he used to do as a kid and then, everyone in the frame in that scene, is just finding a way to escape from whatever he wishes to say. It's just that way for us too. Simply put, you can't talk about Graham Bell's first phone when every pocket around you has a mobile phone in it!
Again, you can't even compare a child to another. Every child is special, different (sorry, to just steal the tag-line from Taare Zameen Par)! In his/her own ways... And it's that difference you need to understand... There can't always be a fixed path that a child should follow just because you dreamt about him going that way. If some parents wouldn't have understood that, we wouldn't have had a Sachin Tendulkar, Bill Gates, etc. today! If their parents hadn't let them chase their dreams, they would be just another face in the crowd today, someone you would never even know exists...
The third, and most important point that I wish to make here. Studies isn't the only thing that's important. It may be that it's the only thing you you want from us, but it surely isn't the same for us. There are other things that are important too. And if you can figure out what that is, just understand them, believe in them, that's all you need to do! It's not like reminding us of our dreams 10 times day you can change anything that we do through the day... We may even change it for a day, out of frustration, but then what? We know our dreams, we know where we want to go, we know how, and we even know it's our life and that if someone has to make it, it's us... And that's what you need to know...
You can't talk to me every once in a fortnight, about one sensitive topic, and even say that you understand me... How do you want us to believe it if that's not what we see through your actions? How do we believe that you understand what we feel, go through if your actions suggest the contrary?
Well, here I want to make one thing clear before anyone begins speculating. I haven't had any arguments with either of my parents in the recent past (thankfully!), about anything. It's just that I was thinking about all this the other night, and it made me write this...
Many adults reading this must be up in arms with their replies for everything that I pointed out, ready to say about how biased I have been... And I wouldn't mind that. Probably, being a child, a teenager, it blinds me to look at it from the other perspective, because we're too firm on whatever we think and believe. Just too much. And there's nothing you can actually do about it.
Right now, it's probably the largest generation gap, between two consecutive generations, history has ever seen. Or may be, wider gaps will come by as next generations become real. May be it's the technological advance, openness to ideas, influence of school, friends, etc. that exists now on us, that induces this. But, that's real right? You can't go back in time, educate me then, make me learn the way you want me to live and then bring me back to the present and see me live that way. That's a serious LOL (lots of laugh). And I guess I have made my point here...
It's frightening to wonder about how changed the next generations will be, than measuring the current difference, for me... Well, it just is so...
Until I come up with something else to write about...
Good one... Great son!
ReplyDeletenicely put forth! :))
ReplyDeleteDecember 20, 2010 at 11:41am on Facebook
Every child and parent should read this blog just for once before they its too late. In fact the distance between a parent and child grows apart more because of Communication Gap rather than Generation Gap.
ReplyDeleteThis is all I can say right now but as usual Setu, your blog posts help me cultivate my reading habit. :)
December 20, 2010 at 6:25pm
-Bhavin aka Bugs
http://blogsbybugs.blogspot.com/
Generation gap when said between parent and children is because parent always think they are older and more experiential. They always think their children are still small(howsoever big he may grow). Thus, they would always like to advise what is good for their children. But they forget advising takes away freedom of opposite person. That's the first step for differences. And kids always think parents are from older time and they(kids)know better things of current time so they also show resistance to understand parent's views. Every parent wants to protect their child from burning fingers in the experiences where they burnt. And every child wants to experience by themselves.
ReplyDeleteBut in all this, we forget we both, parent and child to have faith and trust on each other. Parent must have complete trust on child's abilities and child must have faith in parent's intentions... Then there will be no more generation gap.